Reflections on 2010

2010 has come and gone and here I am alone in my condo reflecting on the time that has gone by with the Simpsons/Family Guy marathon that seems to be continuously  on Global on Saturday afternoons playing in the background. January 2010 was a pretty dark time for me. After months of no work, I was starting a new job at the Great Canadian Theatre Company and feeling completely overwhelmed by it all. My finances were a mess, my heart was broken, I was experiencing panic attacks... I was feeling utterly and completely lost.

And then someone very special walked into my life. Our time together was brief, but also incredibly illuminating. His lust for life was contagious and, as he disappeared back into whatever magic vortex he came from, he left me with a very simple: "Hey, life is awesome."

I'm very grateful to this person because my entire attitude changed after our encounter and every risk, every move, every dream I've dared to pursue to its fullest this past year can be directly traced back to the impact he had on me.

After that, things began to change almost immediately and 2010 was a very good year.

I had more professional acting gigs than ever before. It started out with this fun little number: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBDXhhuEfDA&feature=related]

There was not one, but two jobs as a stand-in where I got to work alongside people like Adam Beach, Elisabeth Shue and Jennifer Lawrence; a school tour with A Company of Fools (which I may very well be reprising in 2011) that lead to a one-off in Montreal and at the Lumiere Festival; a seven or eight week contract in Morrisburg at the Upper Canada Playhouse and a Fringe Festival run in Ottawa and Calgary; a workshop for Evolution Theatre's Little Martyrs as well as a reading of We Won't Pay! We Won't Pay! for our five year anniversary party; a voice-over contract in French for a birth control website; and a bilingual gig at the Upper Canada Village.

All of this led to accomplishing two of my goals for the year: I became a full union member of ACTRA and CAEA (and got a few more credits towards my full UdA status) and found an agent to represent me in the Toronto market.

And if you're looking at that pseudo goal list I created at this time last year, my laptop died and I moved myself into the wonderful world of the MacBook Pro. I didn't schedule time to write, but I did finish a first draft of my Roller Derby script. I completed a 5K Race and I'm now working towards being able to run a 10K. I took a bunch of incredible acting classes in order to keep training with more consistency and, as many of you know, I traveled a whole heck of a lot.

As for my marketing work, I was at the GCTC where, among other things, I implemented a social media marketing policy and gave my first workshop on the subject to the staff. Since they're still going strong in this area now that I'm gone, I'd like to think I did pretty alright there. After giving a presentation under the banner Art as Business, Business as Art - my chosen topic being Branding the Artist - during the Ottawa Fringe Festival's brilliant Lunchtime Artist Series Ignite the Fringe event, I was approached by Odyssey Theatre to help them with their marketing and promotions for They All Do It. (Oh and I learned that I probably influenced at least one new blogger in town.) And I also ran a pretty successful publicity campaign for 'I', which took place at The Gladstone in November.

As I briefly mentioned above, my theatre company, Evolution Theatre, after a year of workshopping new shows, celebrated its five year anniversary, became a resident company of Arts Court and announced the two shows we will be producing in February and May of 2011 (which will be a whole other post in the ver near future).

And though I can't beat this guy, I saw over 75 stage productions - give or take a couple that I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Oh and I became an auntie and a godmother to the most adorable little boy in the world.

It wasn't all sunshine and lollipops though: my grandparents passed away; I kissed a lot of frogs, but didn't find any real princes; I got sick, tired and depressed more often than I cared for; I never knew where I would be sleeping next or how I might be able to pay for my next meal; and, sadly, until I've figured out a more permanent home for myself, I've had to leave my cat, Winston, with someone else.

But Winston is being well taken cared of, my life feels like an incredible adventure, I've discovered that I have wonderful and generous friends, and there was making out. All in all, 2010 was pretty gosh-darn amazing!

I can't wait to see what's going to happen in 2011.

It's Been A Week...

One official week of residency in the Big Smoke and I am sick.  Literally.  I arrived last Monday and was the proud recipient of a four or five day cold and a massive allergic reaction (to what, I do not know - though my hypothesis thinks it may have had something to do with the election results) that presented itself in the form of a rash over most of my body.  I've spent the last four days recuperating and trying to get somewhat active again after hiding out in the apartment. To be fair, though, it hasn't been all bad.

After a late evening on set Sunday night, I got back to my temporary residence in Ottawa to pack.  I had to be up at 3:30 a.m. to catch a bus at 4:30 to reach a train that would be leaving at 5:45.  Why so early?  Because I had a commercial audition waiting for me in Toronto that morning.

Exciting, I know! And of course, I barely slept for fear of missing out on my alarm.  And though I dozed on the train, I also did some work, because, you know, that's what I do.  I picked up a publicist gig for 'I' - a show that will be up at The Gladstone in Ottawa as of November 18th - and so I was busy with that.  (I'm pretty excited about this piece and the people involved.  More on that in another blog post, but here's a link to the main website to tide you over.)

The audition went well and, after a quick shower, I headed to my creative coaching workshop with Barbara Deutsch. I've talked about her here before.  I always feel amazing when I leave her workshop; inspired and ready to work.  But this time, things with me felt different.

You know, I have a tendency to do too much. (A collective "no shit" is suddenly heard across the horizon.)  So, it was decided that I should just relax, maybe pick up a hobby instead of working all the time.  It would be easy in Toronto since I don't know as many people or know where/when things are happening (yet).  I'm doing everything right when it comes to my acting career, but all this pushing I keep doing to move forward really isn't helping.  It's like paddling against the current.  A draining and pointless labour.

Not only did I realized I had to stop, but I got sick enough that I was forced to do so.

And it's been haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!

I don't like this feeling.  Not doing anything makes me feel... useless. I so intrinsically identify myself with what I am "doing" that I have no idea who I am when I'm not. Needless to say, I got bored.  Then I got depressed.  Is this what workaholism is all about?  I guess so.  I'm like an addict going through some sort of detox and craving a fix.  I worked on a press release, sent out some emails, updated my marketing resume and applied for a job today just so I didn't feel like a waste of space.  How fucked is that?

The sickness is slowly going away now.  I know it's all related with my move.  Change and the unknown magnifying my own fears.  No matter how great the place I'm living in currently is (and trust me, it's super sweet and safe and comforting), I miss my home, my cat, my old life.  But I want more.  And growing pains will come with that.  I just need to breathe through the panic and stay the course.

The Hustle and Bustle of an Artistic Ottawa

There's always something to see and do in Ottawa. Say what?

Yup, it's true.  Don't believe me?  Then look at what I've been up to and what I've still got going during this two week time frame that I am in town: last Friday, I saw the incredible Hamlet (solo) at the Great Canadian Theatre Company.

Saturday night I was at the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word Finals where Ottawa took home first and second place (Teams Capital Slam & Urban Legends respectively).  Check out the very awesome Wizard of Love from Capital Slam:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGqWGRALbYs]

Tonight, I'm checking out the launch of the undercurrent festival at the Great Canadian Theatre Company followed by the Wrecking Ball: Acting Over Politics.

Tomorrow, A Flea in her Ear at The Gladstone. Wednesday, I'm checking out a preview of the vampire play St. Nicholas at Cube Gallery.  Thursday there's a free public lecture about the importance of arts and culture in enhancing the quality of life in the urban environment at the Canadian Museum of Nature. And finally on Friday, it's opening night of Romeo and Juliet at the National Arts Centre.

Though some of these events are one night only, many go on for a few weeks.  And this is just what I'm seeing.  I haven't included a myriad of other events happening in and around town.

Really, what's your excuse?

Rideau Awards Nominations

From the Official Press Release: NOMINEES ANNOUNCED FOR THE THIRD ANNUAL RIDEAU AWARDS Peer-assessed awards celebrate Ottawa-Gatineauʼs professional theatre in both official languages

The votes have been tallied and it's time to announce the nominees for the third annual Rideau Awards, which celebrate achievement in professional theatre in the region of Ottawa-Gatineau. This year for the first time, Les Prix Rideau Awards will be fully bilingual, with a full slate of awards to be presented for both English and French-language productions. The awards will be handed out during a celebration to take place on Sunday, April 18, 2010, at De La Salle High School. Tickets go on sale March 15 at La Nouvelle Scène.

The nominees for English-language productions are: Outstanding Performance – Female Mary Ellis, Doubt Patricia Fagan, The Syringa Tree Teri Rata Loretto, Shirley Valentine Margo MacDonald, A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale Emily Pearlman, Countries Shaped Like Stars

Outstanding Performance – Male Pierre Brault, Portrait of an Unidentified Man David Fox, The Net Kris Joseph, Doubt Andy Massingham, Peer Gynt Paul Rainville, The Drawer Boy

Outstanding Lighting Design Martin Conboy, Portrait of an Unidentified Man Martin Conboy, The Drawer Boy Rebecca Miller, Henry V David Mcgladry, A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale Jock Munro, The Children's Republic Jock Munro, The Syringa Tree

Outstanding Set Design Robin Fisher, The Drawer Boy Robin Fisher, The Syringa Tree Ivo Valentik, A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale Ivo Valentik, The Final Twist Sarah Waghorn, Old Times

Outstanding Costume Design Louise Hayden, A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale Louise Hayden, The Girl Who Was Eaten by the Dark Jennifer Triemstra & Karen Rodd, A Guy Named Joe Sarah Waghorn, Henry V Sarah Waghorn, Old Times

Outstanding Stage Management / Technical Award Donna Bourgeault, A View from the Bridge Sean Green & Tina Goralski, Noises Off Louisa Hache, The Children's Republic Samira Rose, The Lieutenant of Inishmore

Outstanding Fringe Production Countries Shaped Like Stars, Mi Casa The Girl Who Was Eaten by the Dark, Ottawa Stilt Union Inclement Weather, Mi Casa Squatter Heart, ReduxDelux We Never Clothed, People with Principles

Outstanding Director AL Connors, A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale Todd Duckworth, The Drawer Boy Janet Irwin, The Children's Republic Lise Ann Johnson, The Syringa Tree Brian Quirt, Portrait of an Unidentified Man

Emerging Artist Award Simon Bradshaw, Actor, The Rideau Project Nicolas Di Gaetano, Creator/Actor, Countries Shaped Like Stars Patrick Gauthier, Director, Countries Shaped Like Stars Brad Long, Actor, The Pillowman Emily Pearlman, Creator/Actor/Writer, Countries Shaped Like Stars

Outstanding Adaptation A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale, A Company of Fools Much Ado About Nothing, A Company of Fools The Net, Great Canadian Theatre Company Pirate Jennyʼs Circus, Counterpoint Players The Radio Show, Gladstone Productions Outstanding New Creation The Children's Republic, Great Canadian Theatre Company/Ottawa School of Speech and Drama Countries Shaped Like Stars, Mi Casa The Girl Who Was Eaten by the Dark, Ottawa Stilt Union Inclement Weather, Mi Casa The Rideau Project, Théâtre la Catapulte

Outstanding Production Countries Shaped Like Stars, Mi Casa The Drawer Boy, Great Canadian Theatre Company A Midwinterʼs Dream Tale, A Company of Fools Portrait of an Unidentified Man, Sleeping Dog Theatre The Syringa Tree, Great Canadian Theatre Company

The nominees for French-language productions are:

Interprétation féminine de l'année Nathaly Charrette, (RAGE) Larissa Corriveau, (L'Illusion comique) Geneviève Couture, (L'honnête homme/ une one woman show) Magali Lemèle, (Le Bout du monde) Emmanuelle Lussier, Martinez (Le Bout du monde) Interprétation masculine de l'année Benjamin Gaillard, (Projet Rideau) Richard Léger, (Et si on tuait l'ennui?) Gilles Provost, (Mardis avec Morrie) Pierre Antoine, Lafon Simard (L'Illusion comique) Victor Trelles, (RAGE)

Conception de l'année Marcel Aymar, (Le Bout du monde), env. sonore Josée Bergeron-Proulx, (Le Bout du monde), décor Diane Bouchard, (L'effet réel des polluants sur les animaux imaginaries), marionnettes Julie Giroux, (Les sept jours de Simon Labrosse), décor Guillaume Houët- Brisebois, (L'honnête homme/ une one woman show), éclairage

Artiste en émergence Josée Bergeron-Proulx, (Le Bout du monde) Emmanuelle Lussier Martinez , interprète, (Le Bout du monde) Pierre Antoine Lafon Simard, interprète, (L'Illusion comique)

Prix technique / de la regie Tina Goralski, (L'Illusion comique) Guillaume Houët- Brisebois, (L'honnête homme/ une one woman show) Benoît Roy, (Le Bout du monde) Lindsay Tremblay, (Le Projet Rideau)

Mise en scène de l'année Joël Beddows (RAGE) Dominique Lafon (L'Illusion comique) Marc Lemyre (L'honnête homme/ une one woman show) Pier Rodier (Cyrano Tag) Anne-Marie White (Le Bout du monde)

Adaptation de l'année Le Bout du monde, Le Théâtre du Trillium Cyrano Tag, Vox Théâtre

Nouvelle création de l'année Cyrano Tag, Vox Théâtre L'effet réel des polluants sur les animaux imaginaires, GESTES théâtre Et si on tuait l'ennui?, Théâtre Dérives Urbaines L'honnête homme/ une one woman show, poésie électrique Le Projet Rideau, Théâtre la Catapulte

Production de l'année Le Bout du monde, Théâtre du Trillium Et si on tuait l'ennui?, Théâtre Dérives Urbaines L'honnête homme/ une one woman show, poésie électrique Le Projet Rideau, Théâtre la Catapulte RAGE, Théâtre la Catapulte

40 English and 11 French professional theatre productions were juried by two teams of local arts professionals (14 English and 10 French) during the 2009 calendar year. Nominations were submitted by secret ballot and tallied by local accountants, Chong Pelot and Marcil-Lavallée. Complete details on award definitions, terms and criteria are available at www.rideauawards.ca

Les Prix Rideau Awards initiative was undertaken in late 2006 as a result of discussion at an open meeting of the regional Canadian Actorsʼ Equity Association. The program aims to raise the profile of locally-produced professional theatre by celebrating its successes.

Enjoying Theatre on a Budget

It bothers me when actors tell me they don't go to the theatre. Excuse me? What? How can you not go to the theatre? How can you consider yourself an actor in this town and not know what the local companies are producing? Or who the key people involved are? Or who your competition might be? Often actors and crew go for drinks post-show, which then becomes a valuable opportunity to network, socialize and find out what the next big project coming to town might be.

"But Nancy, going to the theatre is expensive!" I hear you clamour. "Ah! But it does not have to be," is my reply.

As many of you know, I see almost every bit of theatre that comes to Ottawa. Out of 45 professional productions juried by Les Prix Rideau Awards in 2009, I've seen 40. that's not including the community theatre, Fringe, Magnetic North and student productions I've seen. I think last year I probably saw over 100 theatre performances. That averages out to 2 a week, which sounds about right.

This may come as a shock to you, but I am not the type to sit around in my tub with my bath pillow eating bonbons and drinking wine as I use my laptop to peruse the "next big theatrical event" I will be attending (though that's probably because using your laptop in a tub is just asking for trouble). Nor do I have an ample supply of disposable income which I use on $20 to $40 theatre tickets. No. I am a poor broke artist who just wanted to know everything there was to know about my local theatre community and I figured out the cheapest way to do it.

So, dear friends, this is how you too can enjoy your theatre on a budget.

Are you a student? TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT! Both the National Arts Centre, the Great Canadian Theatre Company and Third Wall Theatre in Ottawa have rush tickets for students that go for something like $10 or $11 a piece if you purchase your tickets the day of the performance. Not ideal if it's a show like The Drowsy Chaperone, which sold out rather quickly, but trust me, there are a lot of performances in town that do not sell out and you would be more than happy to see your smiling face walking to the door for your rush ticket.

Of course, the tricky thing here is that most of these companies do not clearly advertise their rush ticket availabilities, which I can understand to a point. So how can you find out about them? Well, you could just call and ask. Then again, why would you do that when you have me?

I almost never took advantage of my student status when I had a valid student card and it still bothers me to this day. Think of all the great shows I missed... As an added bonus, the GCTC also has ADULT Rush Tickets for $20. No i.d. necessary, just show up after noon on any show day to get your discounted ticket.

Are You An Artist? Well, since this blog is loosely geared towards actors and other artists, I'm going to go with yes, you probably are. A lot of companies like the NAC, GCTC, Third Wall, Evolution Theatre offer artist rates. How do you prove you're an artist? Usually with your union card. That said, if you are not in any performers union, I believe they will all accept two contrasting monologues at the box office... but don't quote me on that.

Volunteer! Every theatre company in town needs volunteers and it does come with benefits. In most cases, volunteers actually get to see the show on the night of their shift. I know this is the case for Evolution Theatre and it sometimes works out for other companies like The Gladstone and A Company of Fools (unless they happen to need all their volunteers for a secret ice cream experiment...) I wanted to see the amazing Inclement Weather/Countries Shaped Like Stars again when it was presented at the GCTC, but couldn't afford the $20. I offered my services on opening night and boom! I got to fall in love all over again.

The added bonus of volunteering means you get to know the people involved with the production. Today's front of house volunteer may be tomorrow's performer... or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Join Mailing Lists, Facebook Groups and watch Twitter Feeds How else will you know what shows are playing in town? (Other than the brilliantly up-to-date What’s On – À l’affiche listing by the Ottawa Theatre Network) Lots of theatre companies (perhaps taking a page from my book) run online contests and special promotions for their members. Vision Theatre, Evolution Theatre and Third Wall Theatre have all been known to do this. The Ottawa Fringe Festival ran a brilliant Friday Trivia contest on Twitter where you could win free tickets and other gift certificates. A Company of Fools also sends out a very informed newsletter every once in a while, so you probably want to sign up for that one too.

Pay Attention to Pay-What-You-Can! Every single company in town has a Pay-What-You-Can performance at some point in their run (and if they don't, they probably should). For instance, when I did Shining City with SevenThirty Productions, we had a PWYC matinee on the first Saturday in the run. During the summer, the Fools shows are by Pass The Hat donations. PWYC/PTH means whatever you can afford. Really, you have absolutely no excuse not to go. And how do you find out about the PWYC? See the point above this one.

Previews and Dress Rehearsals These shows are often free or cheap and take place before the official opening night. Sure you might not be getting a final polished performance, but when is a performance ever final? Besides, you're doing the theatre company a great service by being part of the test audience.

Know Somebody Finally, if not a single one of these suggestions works for you, call someone you know who might be involved with the production. (See, this is where all the networking you've been doing after attending performances is going to pay off.) Let whomever know that you can't afford to see their show but you really want to. Perhaps they will be able to offer you a comp or a discounted ticket. That said, only use this method if you really can't make it to the show otherwise. You do not want to abuse of this privilege! It's just not nice.

Or be friends with someone who happens to get a lot of invitations to shows (you know, like me). Typically these people get two free tickets to a performance and they might not have anyone to go with that night (because they happen to be single and can't meet anyone new because they spend all their time attending the theatre by themselves... ahem) I'm sure I they would be happy to have some company with which to discuss the performance post-show. Just make sure you buy me them a drink after. It's only fair.

....

What? This still isn't working for you? Alright. Fine. Here's my final solution: start your own theatre company, build it from the ground up over at least five years, somewhere in there start a blog, become a valued and indispensable part of your city's theatre scene, and watch the invitations pour in. It worked for me, but it's a lot of work. You might just want to pay the $10 instead.

I'll be seeing you at the theatre!

Stats, Stats, Stats

I've been inspired by Mr. Sterling Lynch's recent post on his blog's traffic numbers (and absolutely fascinated as well!). He was right: I do find it useful to compare his traffic numbers to mine. After some investigation, I've realized that I'm doing pretty well. Therefore, in the spirit of sharing, I've also decided to publish my blog stats to all of you in the hopes that it might be useful to someone else. I currently don't have any other statistic program running on my site and so my statistics all come directly from Wordpress.

Since 29/08/08 I have had 11, 769 visits to this site. Now, this number is relatively small compared to Sterling's, but that's because I wasn't really all that active on my blog until about March 2008, which is when I started pushing it more by linking the notes to my Facebook account and updates. My individual site visits hit over the 1000 mark in June. In fact my busiest months have been June 2009 - 1,880 and July 2009 - 2,152. This makes sense for a few reasons. First of all, it was around this time that I started using Twitter to promote my blog. It was also during the Ottawa and Winnipeg Fringe Festivals, where I was writing practically everyday and was getting tons of pingback links through their sites. My busiest day was 22/06/09 with 206 visits - right smack in the middle of the Ottawa Fringe Festival.

Not counting this one, I have 117 posts and 235 comments. I don't respond to every comment like Sterling does, so this number is actually pretty close to reality. That said, because he replies to the comments on his site, Sterling encourages discussion, which then brings in more comments and more page views. I can learn from that.

Search engine terms to find my blog usually have to do with some variation of my name or the blog title. Though I was interested to see that a lot of people found me by searching for "Countries Shaped Like Stars" (which sends you to my review of the show) and "Gladstone Theatre Ottawa" (which puzzled me because I went through 5 Google search pages and found nothing about this blog). What terms a person used to find my site is a great source of enjoyment for me. You can find some real gems there including: "hairpulling catfight", "so", "la in me love you long time 9" (not making that one up), "vehicle registration plates in manitoba", and "im struggling upcoming artist?"

Visitors have been referred to my site mostly through Facebook, Twitter and a link from my old blog incarnation. The rest come from something called Alpha Inventions (which I haven't fully figured out) and my friend's blogs. In order of popularity, I get most of my friendly traffic from the Adorkable Thespian, The Many Faces of Wayne, The Ottawa Arts Newsletter, Reverberations, and finally Movement (Welcome to the party, Sterling. Nadine, I owe you a drink.)

Finally, my top 5 most popular posts and pages are as follows:

Nancy's Must See List at the Winnipeg Fringe - 428 Upcoming Appearances - 396 About Nancy - 386 Nancy's Must See List at the Ottawa Fringe - 373 In Loving Memory of my Friend - 161

I'm not surprised by these numbers and they do corroborate Sterling's theory that "When people like a blog post, they often want to know more about the person writing the blog post." I encourage you to read the rest of his theory on the effectiveness of social media tools with regards to personal interactions with the writer. I pretty much completely agree with him on that point.

All in all, this has been a very interesting exercise. Based on the information collected, I'm quite certain that I have approximately 35 to 40 regular readers who check my site everyday for new stuff. When I write a new post, that number easily doubles or even triples.

I'd like to think that this readership also translates into my business world (attendance at shows, networking opportunities, ect.) but I have no way of verifying that information.

So, thank you dear readers, I definitely would not be here on the interwebs without you.

Theatre! SQUEEEEEE!

After the rush of theatre viewing that was June and July, it's felt weird to not be seeing shows on a regular basis in the last couple of months. Well, all that's over now! There is currently a veritable smorgasbord of theatre currently available to us in the Ottawa region. A few weeks ago I saw Noises Off at The Gladstone. It's a pretty funny British farce that is still going strong for another couple of weeks.

The Great Canadian Theatre Company has the one-woman tour de force that is The Syringa Tree, which I'm really looking forward to seeing.

Tonight, you've got the opening of Third Wall's take on the Harold Pinter classic, Old Times.

And tomorrow there's another opening night with Vision Theatre's version of The Pillowman. I love Martin McDonagh's work and I've purposely gone against the grain and haven't read much about the production in order to be fully surprised and enthralled.

I'm going to have a busy time trying to squeeze in all these performances before I leave town next week, but I can't wait!

Am I Just Killing Trees?

I've got two more packages set to be mailed out to two more theatre companies.  What's in these packages? An 8 by 10 glossy of myself carefully stapled to a properly formatted resume, along with a brief cover letter.  Since October of 2008, right around the time Rabbit Hole concluded at the Gladstone, I've sent out 21 of these little beauties. I have yet to receive a response for any of them. In fact, looking through My Documents, I realize that I have been sending out packages like these since 2006 and I have yet to receive a response to any of those either.

It kind of makes you wonder what's the point?  Does anyone even open my letters? And if they do, what makes it that I am immediately filed under "G" (that's G for Garbage for those who might be unclear).

Is it my lack of Equity status? Is it my photo? My resume? My location in Ottawa? What?

I wouldn't say I'm bitter, I'm more just really curious to know what companies are looking for when they claim to be holding general auditions.  If you have any insight, I would love to hear it.

Nothing but Fear Itself

I would like to say that my mom and I are close.  However, for as long as I can remember wanting to be an actor, I have desperately wanted her full-fledged support in my unconventional career choice.  Though she 's always encouraged me to do something that made me happy, every conversation about day jobs would inevitably turn to talks of "Maybe you'll actually like doing that instead." I know it's a parent wanting peace of mind and security for her children, but I have to admit that I have avoided taking many career risks because in the back of my mind I've always worried about what she would think/react/say.  That's my own fault for not being strong enough to take a stand and do it anyway.  I've learned that lesson now and have started making the hard decisions.

But suddenly, something's changed.  It was so subtle at first, I'm not even sure when it started.  Maybe it was when my mom came from New Brunswick to see my first professional theatre gig at The Gladstone.  Or maybe it was when I decided to head out to Toronto.  Or maybe when I approached her for donations for my theatre company, informing her that we gained charitable status and showing her all the good press we've been receiving.

Or maybe, she just realized that after 10 years this isn't just a hobby that's going to go away.

Whatever the case may be, my mom has loosened up tremendously, which I'm also sure has a lot to do with my grandma's passing.   When I told her I felt the need to go back and study my craft in a more intensive environment, I had all the reasons why she might say no in my head.  What she said instead surprised me: "Well of course you do.  You're competing at a much higher level now."

Um, hi?  Who are you and what have you done with my mommy?

So all of a sudden, I'm bringing up the excuses as to why she should say no.  Because there is no way this Dream Mommy can be real, right?

Me - Well, I guess I would have to sublet the condo if I went back to school.

DM - Oh that would be great!  No payments for a few months.

Me - But how would I handle paying the bills?  I don't want to disconnect the internet.

DM - Trust me.  The bills will find you and if you're not making mortgage payments, you'll be able to cover them.

Me - Well, I guess I'd have to put my stuff in storage.

DM - Just lock it up in the basement.  It's not like you have to take everything out.

Me - ...

So I had a revelation.  It turns out that I'm scared.  Acting scares me. The possibility that I might actually be a good actor scares me even more because it means that I have to throw myself out of my comfort zone and actually do some hard fucking work.  The thing is, instead of dealing with my own fear, I've projected it onto my mom and turned her into my excuse for not getting any work done.

Well, without knowing it, she's put a kibosh on that.  The apron strings have been cut and I now have exactly what I've always wanted.

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it...

The Joys of Being a Working Actor

Patron: Excuse me, but aren't you an actress? Me: Why yes I am!

Patron: Oh you were in the last show we saw here!  You were very good!  Honey, she was in the play we saw here last time.

Patron's Husband: Wow, you were very good!  That was a good show! 

Me: Thank you!   (insert awkward pause here)   May I show you to your seat?

Patron's Husband:  Yes, please.  Tell me, how do you learn ALL those lines?

*********************************************************

Patron 2: Excuse me, but how do I know you?

Me: Um, I think we auditioned together not too long ago.

Patron 2: Oh right!  That's where I saw you.  Mom, she auditioned too!  You were great!

Me: Oh thanks!  (insert awkward pause here)    May I check your coat?

***************************************************

Patron 3:  Heeeeeeeeey!  Weren't you in that show I saw here last time?

Me: Yes, I was.

Patron 3: That was great!  Just great!

Me: Thank you!

Patron 3:  I'll have two coffees and a glass of wine, please.

Random Sugar Crash Ramblings

I have a headache.  I think my body is wondering why we're not eating a crème caramel, 2 pieces of chocolate cake (with quite a few stabs at some additional icing), a piece of torte, a lemon square, and some chocolate syrup tonight (twice on Saturdays!)  Or maybe it's because I'm not drinking 3 coffees per day anymore... I haven't suffered the dreadful post-show crash that usually afflicts us actors when a run is over, though since I have so many things on the go, I think I just haven't let it hit me yet.  When I finally realize that I can safely go into the bathroom without a fart machine going off, I think I may break down in tears.

It's weird.  I've always said that there were so many things that I wanted to be doing with my time that I couldn't because I had a full-time job.  However, now that I actually have that time, I haven't gotten around to much of it.  True, it's only been two days since the end of the show, and it's not like I've done absolutely nothing productive.  For instance, I learned that Hot Fuzz is a wickedly awesome movie and I think I have a crush on Simon Pegg.  Damn, good writing is sexy! (I will forgive him for Run, Fatboy, Run though.  He probably has a mortgage to pay too and it's simply easier to blame David Schwimmer instead)

There's so much theatre going on in town now that I'm not even sure where to turn my head.  I'm seeing up to 7 shows over the next two weeks.  First up, Toto Too's Evening of One-Acts, followed by Catalpa at The Gladstone.  Then there's A Midsummer Night's Dream at the NAC (which looks unbelievable!) and Look Back in Anger by Third Wall.  That's just for this week.  Next week I'm checking out Fires in the Mirror by NORT and Zadie's Shoes at the GCTC.  If I have time (which is looking doubtful, though who knows) I may also check out a show at the Canadian War Museum entitled ...and stocking for the ladies.

Seriously, people who think our city isn't vibrant with culture probably haven't checked out the current Ottawa theatre scene.

Is it sad that I really want a cookie right now?

Live from Ottawa, It's Opening Night!

I walk up a red carpet to get to work.  How wicked is that? Last night, my first (of many) forays into the world of professional acting began with the opening of David Lindsay-Abaire's Rabbit Hole at The Gladstone.  I am incredibly proud of this show.  We have a solid cast, an amazing director, an incredible set, and a Pulitzer Prize winning script.

Unfortunately, it's a drama and that seems to scare people away.

You see, the show is about a couple moving on with their lives after the death of their four year old son.  This is a far cry from the farce which launched the season at The Gladstone, but I'm here to tell you that it's not all death and depression.  There some incredible moments of humour (brought on mostly by yours truly) throughout that play that really lightens the mood and grounds everything even more so into reality.  Because life can be silly at times.

It is my fondest wish that everyone reading this note will take the time to check out the play.  This show will shake something inside of you and, trust me, you will come out a better person for it.

The Gladstone is currently offering a long-weekend special on admission.  All seats are $25 taxes included (as opposed to the usual $33.50 and $26.80 plus tax) for the shows taking place this Friday (tonight) and Saturday (both the matinee and evening performances).

Shows start at 8:00 pm Tuesday to Saturday, with matinees at 2:30 pm on Saturdays and Sundays (no show on Thanksgiving Sunday) until October 25th.

To reserve your spot, please call the box office at 613-233-4523.

I look forward to seeing you there!

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Rabbit Hole – David Lindsay-Abaire

A Gladstone Production

Directed by Janet Irwin

October 9 – October 25, 2008

Featuring (alphabetically)

Brie Barker

Michele Fansett

Jesse Griffiths

Nancy Kenny

Maureen Smith

Toxic Shock

My initial elation at working on my first professional theatre production (Rabbit Hole at The Gladstone Theatre - get your tickets now!) has slowly given way to something else entirely. I don't think I realized how much of an adjustment leaving work would be.  My body is scared and it thinks the best way to protect me is by shutting everything down so that I stay safe at home in bed.  I've been getting sick.  I wake up in the morning with a lump in my throat.  I feel stuffed up and have trouble eating.  My stomach is constantly rumbling with problems of a bathroom nature; the details of which, I am sure, most of you would prefer if they were kept to myself.  I get anxiety attacks and at times it feels like a twenty pound weight is crushing my ribcage.  My mind wanders.  I forget what I was doing the day, the hour, the minute before.  Last night, I showed up at the theatre not only carrying two very different shoes (one was a high-heeled pump, the other a ballet flat), but they were for the same foot.

My mind and body are rebelling against this new lifestyle change.

I am going into shock.

I'm sure some people are thinking (because a little part of me thinks it too) well, why not give in?  Just get sick and stay in bed for a few days until you get better.  Unfortunately, I can't do that.  I can't just take the easy way out anymore and go hide under the covers like a gopher who's afraid because his shadow is so big.  I can't rest on my laurels.  I can't live on a plateau when I know the view is even better if I just keep climbing a little higher.

(How many more mixed metaphors can I squeeze in here?  Let's see...)

I've learned from past experience that the stronger my physical, visceral resistance to something is, the greater and sweeter the reward I receive when I finally manage to overcome it.

My soul knows that I am creating the right path for myself.  Evey time I show up to rehearsal and begin to say my first few lines, suddenly, I don't feel so sick anymore.  Now if my mind and body could please catch up...

There's Nothing Going On

I am so incredibly pleased that the Ottawa Citizen took the innitiative to include an article today about the BC Scene, which is happening in April of 2009, because there is nothing else going on in the Ottawa Arts Community at the moment that is worth mentioning (and I only linked Theatre, there's plenty of visual arts, music and dance going on too).

The Band-Aid Slowly Comes Off

I had a brilliant day yesterday. I got up at around 8 a.m. (which for me is sleeping in) and went for a run.  The weather was just gorgeous!  Once I was back home, I settled down in front of my computer with my perfect cup of coffee (the day's special was cappuccino) and started working on a variety of Playing Bare things like media reminders and program revisions.  Then I hopped in the shower before heading downtown.  There I met with a lovely lady who carries Iron Sticks (though not this day) just to bounce off some ideas and get a feel for story structure when writing a one-person show.  I followed that up with some shoe shopping with a friend for a fancy-schmancy gala I'm suppose to attend in two weeks and then more Evolution/Playing Bare stuff.  I ended my evening by reading through the script for my upcoming professional theatre debut and catching up on some TV shows I have sorely missed in the past few months.

Bliss, right?

My point for yammering on about all this:  Today I'm back at work and I can feel a distinct shift in my mood from the previous day.  I've gotten a lot done, but my thoughts keeps wandering to other, more important (in my mind anyway) things.

8 days and counting