Chill Out, Virginia, It Can Be This Easy

I woke up a little earlier than 5:00 a.m. with the sun barely creeping through my blinds. I was ok with that since I was going to head out for some early morning yoga, but I couldn't figure out if I had slept. If I did sleep, I spent the entire night dreaming about THE SHOW and my tossing and turning was based on all of my blocking, or I didn't sleep and I just thought about the show all night... Ah well, being up that early reminded me that I needed to do laundry, since my costume top was in the basket and we were teching at 9:30 a.m. I also filled out an application for what will surely be another cool festival for No Exit Upstage in September. Yes, the application deadline is way beyond past, but the fine folks in Kitchener-Waterloo have been kind enough to grant me one massive extension.

All in all, with the working out and an impromptu coffee meeting with theatre friends post-yoga, I had a very productive morning before heading out to our venue in Studio Leonard Beaulne on the University of Ottawa campus.

The reality of the situation finally hit me when I got there. We open in LESS THAN TWO DAYS! While on the bus my director/stage manager called to say his own bus hadn't shown up and he would be late. I arrived at the venue and couldn't find either the technician or my fellow actor. I wanted to panic! Where was the Fringe office phone number? Where was everyone? What the hell is going on!?!

Then I looked at my phone. It wasn't even 9:30 yet...

Needless to say, everyone arrived and things went as smoothly as they possibly could. I worried a bit, some more, that I wouldn't be able to get the timing for some of my cues, but we just kept working them until we got it right. I also had to keep telling myself that a cue-to-cue was not a place to be worried about character development. An excellent technical rehearsal later (Vincent is awesome!), we were having lunch on the grass before tidying up a few bits of the story arc. It was wonderful. Post-rehearsal I went to tape up posters around the venues.

Two days before opening and I am confident we have a solid show. It is an incredibly uplifting feeling to know that we won't simply be running on adrenaline to pull this all together. I can't thank the gang enough for making my life so incredibly easy. I sincerely hope to see you all out there throughout the run!

Nancy Kenny's No Exit Upstage, opens with a 2-for-1 admission price Thursday, June 18 at 9:30 pm and plays in Venue #3 - Studio Leonard-Beaulne.

*************************

As an added bonus, while we were finishing up our rehearsal, I received a call from Theatre New Brunswick. I guess I haven't simply been killing trees after all! I'll be heading to Toronto on June 23rd (a day we are not schedule to perform on - thank you Universe!) to audition for their TYA Touring Company.

Am I Just Killing Trees?

I've got two more packages set to be mailed out to two more theatre companies.  What's in these packages? An 8 by 10 glossy of myself carefully stapled to a properly formatted resume, along with a brief cover letter.  Since October of 2008, right around the time Rabbit Hole concluded at the Gladstone, I've sent out 21 of these little beauties. I have yet to receive a response for any of them. In fact, looking through My Documents, I realize that I have been sending out packages like these since 2006 and I have yet to receive a response to any of those either.

It kind of makes you wonder what's the point?  Does anyone even open my letters? And if they do, what makes it that I am immediately filed under "G" (that's G for Garbage for those who might be unclear).

Is it my lack of Equity status? Is it my photo? My resume? My location in Ottawa? What?

I wouldn't say I'm bitter, I'm more just really curious to know what companies are looking for when they claim to be holding general auditions.  If you have any insight, I would love to hear it.

Tell Me What You Want and I Will Make It So

Yes, I'm a Star Trek nerd. I'm also a big stinking liar (though not about the Star Trek thing - you never lie about the Trek). You see, not a day goes by that I don't bitch and complain about being stuck doing some form of administrative theatre work, be it marketing, front of house, stage management, finding sponsors or even writing. I complain because I keep saying I don't want to do any of those things. I just want to ACT. It's been at least a year and a half since I've been in a show where I didn't need to have any other care except to show up and be an actor. I even did script analysis and wrote the English press release for the awesome short film I shot this past summer. I am getting really sick of it.

The thing is, I'm totally lying. I love being involved in the performing arts in any way possible. I also love having some form of control over the product that I'm putting out (and yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is a product - and hee, I said "put out" and giggled because I'm 12). I love the rush I get from small victories like selling a t-shirt, an ad space, or, better yet, solidifying a donation. And most of all, I love realizing that I am really good at something (or a lot of things, actually, as the case may be).

People tell me all the time what I great job I'm doing (and please don't stop, because I love hearing it and it makes me work harder!) and I've always kind of brushed it off. I mean, is it really that hard to show up early, coordinate 5 volunteers into position, sell some merchandise, and, oh yeah, smile? Apparently so. Then again, I think it's the smile part that people have trouble with. I never do, not at the theatre. That's how I realized I was lying. I just love being at the theatre so damn much, I can't help but smile. And that makes my job incredibly easy.

Can't you feel it? There's beauty and excitement in what we do. We're creating something, something so big no individual could ever accomplish it all on his own. The show doesn't begin and end with the actors on stage. They are but one small piece of the puzzle. And if any of the other pieces (including the audience) are missing, the picture is incomplete. Whether you're selling a ticket, writing a press release, showing someone to their seat, contacting a potential donor, calling the show or performing in it, you are important.

So I will keep working behind the scenes and in I will keep sitting in front of them to ensure that the magic keeps happening.

That said, I really wouldn't mind if someone would like to cast me in something (and let me focus on doing just that) like, now. Or tomorrow. You can cast me tomorrow, too, if that works for you.

90% Perspiration

For the past two years I have been in constant contact with a small professional theatre company on the outskirts of Ottawa in order to get an opportunity to audition for them. Yes, you read that right: two years. Every couple of months or so, whenever I had a project coming up (or better yet, saw that they did), I'd be in touch. And then I'd follow up, just to be sure. Acting is a business of connections. Though a lot of it revolves around who you know, it also revolves around who still knows you exist. Do I worry sometimes that I may be coming off as too pushy or a bit of a nag? Yes, sometimes, but then I remember that no one ever got blacklisted for sending in a resume/headshot.

I know a lot of people who complain that they aren't getting any jobs and yet don't seem to realize that these jobs don't just fall in your lap. You have to network, you have to build relationships, you have to let them know that you take this job seriously, that you are a good actor, and you are exactly what they are looking for.

So, after two years of persistence, I finally got an audition and it went swimmingly. Though casting depends on many factors that are outside my control, I know I did well and I know I will be on stage in that little community in the very near future.

I'm looking forward to it.

Living the Dream

Am I truly awake?  Did last week really happen?  I've got the receipts and ticket stubs to prove it, so I guess it did. I took a big leap and went down to Toronto for the week.  As previously mentioned, I had done some advanced prep work and went down feeling confident and apprehensive all at the same time.

Things were off to a good start when I arrived.  I had an Ottawa friend who was auditioning for the Stratford Conservatory and we met for lunch.  We followed that up my a trip to TheatreBooks and the World Biggest Bookstore.

Here's a little bit of info about me.  I don't just love books, I adore them.  The treasure trove of information found in each and every one, waiting to be unlocked and discovered;  the personalities hidden within the words;  the stories waiting to take me away to places unknown...  It's all incredibly sexy and addictive.  I'll go throw genre phases - these days it's books on marketing, new media, and spirituality (or marketing your spirituality through new media) - though there is always room on my book shelf for plays, plays and books about plays. There's just something about the written page between my fingers that just makes me so very happy.  And I'm good to my books (I never bend corners or write in them), so I rarely get any paper cuts.  I'm starting to run out of room though.  Guess I'll just have to get more bookshelves.

I got to see a few shows while I was in town too.  First up, there was a wonderful adaptation of Miss Julie by Canstage.  This play really made me realize that for an audience to understand the themes in the original piece, it does have to be updated.  In this case, we're in 1964 Mississippi aka Freedom Summer two days after Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act.  I can't even find the words to tell you how much sense this adaptation makes (granted there are a few groaner moments, but these were Strindberg's fault - I mean come on, a bird in a cage?  Gee, I wonder what that refers to?).  There's also incredibly strong chemistry between the main actors and the esthetics for the show are just wonderful.  I really appreciated the Marilyn/Jackie O dichotomy you see in Julie (unfortunately, she'll never be a Jackie), but that might just be because I've been watching too much Mad Men lately.  Anything from that time period just tickles me pink these days.

Next, I saw a musical without knowing that's what I was going to see.  A friend invited me to see A New Brain by Acting Up Stage with him and it was a refreshing surprise.  Thanks to my dabbling in stage management with the fine folks at Zucchini Grotto, it turns out I already knew a few of the songs in the show.  It also made me realize that I prefer the smallish, independent musicals to the big budget ones.  Though I'm in no way an expert, I'll take Evil Dead: The Musical over We Will Rock You or The Phantom of the Opera.  That said, and I'm sorry to say this to all the purists out there, I really did like Mamma Mia!.  Shut up!  ABBA gets a free pass from me.

Anyway, its a good thing I like the little new musicals, since I then went out to Sheridan College to see a friend in, yup, another musical.  It's called Big Time Operator and it's a new show set to the music of the Big Bad Voodoo Daddies.  I'm a huge swing fan, so this was a bit of a treat.  Though this was as cheesy as musicals get ("bad" guy finds out he has a son, meets a "good" girl, falls in love in like 5 minutes and decides to change his whole life around if he can just stay out of jail, happy endings all around - It's like Grease meets... something else and swing music - Sorry, I really don't know my musicals), it was a lot of fun.  I was actually really impressed with the choreography, though the prop "drinks" could have been anything else than what they had.  I didn't realize so many speakeasies served daquiris.

To top that off, I had a great meeting with a Toronto agent that I need to follow up with and a fantastic reference from some former teachers, which led to an audition prior to my departure.

I also somehow managed to work out everyday for five days, which is some kind of record for me, and the long train rides gave me plenty of time to write and, of course, read.

And now I'm back in Ottawa, finishing up some grant applications and organizing a fundraising event before jetting off again.  This time, I'll be off to Kitchener to see a staged reading of a show I wrote and after that, well, I'm not sure.  Will I be popping by Toronto to meet with that agency again or to shoot an industrial video?  Or will I be heading back to Ottawa to study clown with the craziest bunch of Fools I know?  Only time will tell, but until then I'm just enjoying the sweet, scary embrace of the unknown.

Be Prepared

"I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you're prepared for it." - Denzel Washington All transit strike worries aside, 2009 has been off to a really great start for me.  On New Year's Eve, I was at a party and found the coin inside the "Money Cake".  Apparently this means that I will be lucky all year and I can't really complain if that's the case.

Already I've finished a short script that I am quite pleased with and submitted it to a couple festivals.  I've got new headshots in my possession from a really great new photographer and two acting workshops scheduled for January.  I've already started one in Physical Theatre and I'm having a blast.  Two professional auditions have already come my way and I get to stay at home and work on projects that interest me (though I quickly realized that grant writing is not interesting in the slightest).

That said, it's easy to sit at home and become complacent and lazy, especially when you can't get around town without assistance.  I've got a few plays and books I need to read.  I've got a script I need to stay focused on and finish writing.  I've got monologues to prepare so that when an audition that requires it arrives I'm not running around like a chicken with her head cut off wondering how the heck I will memorize and prepare all that verse.  And most of all, I need to realize that I have friends for a reason and that I don't have to/can't do this alone.

For the longest time I would prepare monologues on my own.  Practice in the shower or in front of the mirror or walking from the fridge to the couch... but never in front of anyone.  I'd save that for the audition and to be honest, those auditions usually sucked.  However, I've noticed a remarkable improvement in my work when I practice with a partner.

You know sometimes you do something really stupid and then you look back and go well duh, that was stupid, why did I do that?  Really, why in the world would you want to put yourself in an already stressful situation without having done everything you possibly could to make it less stressful?

I had a workshop with a casting director once and she said do your 3rd take in the room.  Best advice I have ever heard.

Hack Cough Choke

What is it about auditions that can turn a bright talented young woman into a pile of brainless mush? I prepared a monologue I could recite in my sleep (in fact I wouldn't be surprised if I had).  I worked on a song that I had performed well not two days ago.  I was ready as I was ever going to be.  I went to bed with a smile on my face because I knew I was going to rock it.

Maybe it was hearing the beautiful notes coming out of the audition room or from people warming up down the hall.  Maybe it was running into some incredibly talented people also up for the same part.  Maybe.  But somewhere along the line, I lost my nerve.

First, I blanked on my monologue.  Then I forgot the melody to my song (3 times - don't ask).  Finally, panic started to seep in.  It was over before it even began.

I did learn something however, so there is at least that.  I know my weak points as a performer and I know what I need to work on.  Auditions are so few and far between that I really don't want something like this to happen again.

Now, deep breath, it's time to move on.

Learn to Warm Up, Dammit!

I had a wonderful little audition yesterday (though any opportunity to audition is wonderful) where I was asked to prepare a song and a short monologue.  I was also asked to stick around after for a group audition. Now, I spent a lot of time prepping for the song and monologue.  I warmed up my voice, ran the lines, ect.  However, I wasn't really sure what to expect for the group portion.  I figured maybe they'd have us read together or maybe just play some acting games together to see how we interact.

I wasn't too far off.  They did have us play some movements games set to music to see how well we played and responded to each other.  It was really no pressure and a lot of fun.  I'm a fairly active person so this truly was going to be a blast.

Well, the music began and we all started jumping around when suddenly I got an impulse. (Oh no!  She's got an impulse.)  I was in stocking feet and wearing my lululemon pants which always make me feel invincible.  Like I can pull off daring athletic feats in those pants!  So I suddenly begin to slide down into a forward split.  It took me about a split second to realize that I don't know how to do a proper split, but by then it was too late.  I felt a nasty thug under my right leg.  Did I even manage to perform a proper split?  I didn't have time to dwell on it.  The music was still going and the other auditionees were approaching me.  I kept smiling, somehow pulled off a reverse tumble and bent my back at angles that would make the Matrix proud.

When the music stopped, I tried not to focus on the throbbing in my leg.  "Just shake it off!"  I told myself.  "Shake it off!" (sorry I couldn't find the video)  I was already high on endorphins from moving my body around and begged my mind to forget about the pain my leg for just a little while longer.  After all, there was still a choreographed dance routine to learn.  Fortunately all pain and residual nervousness melted away (Damn, could I do the song and monologue now?)

So I smiled strong and proud and danced my little heart out.  I had a blast and it was probably one of the funnest auditions I've had in a long time.  But then we stopped and the pain returned.

OW!  I definitely pulled my hamstring and it kills.

Next time, I will remember to warm up before an audition that includes movement.  Either that or I will remember that I can't do the splits.  At least not right now.

So Much To Do

I've been sick for the past couple of days.  It's a pretty bad cold with the sniffling and the coughing and the ewww.  I haven't been sick in over two years.  The last time?  I was leaving my job at the Magnetic North Theatre Festival to work at the Canadian Museum of Civilization.  Now?  I'm leaving my admin work at the theatre to be an artist full-time.  Throw in three different scripts I have to learn for the end of the month, a major project due for my college course, at least 3 more shows I need to see this week, a part-time job, writing a play, stage managing a cabaret, taking an acting course, at least one audition, and getting my place into some sort of order... well, I'm not surprised this is hitting me now. I need to learn to say No sometimes.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ed. Note - Since I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life, it felt appropriate that I have a new blog to go with it. I am a professional actor

Towards the end of my shoot on a wonderful little horror movie, the director forbid me from denying that fact. Mostly because he was sick of me haranguing him for saying he was not a professional director. Don't you hate it when your good advice gets thrown back in your face?

Well, he was right.

I've had a crazy month of August. The first two weeks were taken up by said horror movie and I audited a very inspirational acting course.

The movie reminded me how much fun acting was, how much I loved being on set, and how great it is to be part of a team working passionately towards something that's bigger than yourself. Even the incredibly early morning wake-up calls (did you know there's a 4:30 in the morning now?) only reminded me that I was getting up to go do something I absolutely adore doing (and if that happened to include cutting people in half with a chain saw or sending someone off a cliff, who was I to argue?).

The course made me realize that I was being a lazy actor. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I expected lots of great parts with very little effort or preparation. I'd go into an audition and just expect talent to carry me through. I would complain about how hard I was working to get things done, but I was really wasn't working at all.

So, for an upcoming audition, I prepared like mad. I wasn't going to let old habits stand in the way of what I wanted. I was going to get this part. I read the script a few times and immediately picked a scene that struck a cord with me. I brushed off my monologue and put it on its feet. And then I did something that I never allowed myself to do in the past. I got help. Thanks to two really great friends, I got to play with both scene and monologue. They helped me discover things about the characters and make good choices. They were lifesavers.

I arrived at the audition feeling rather grounded. I was feeling happy just to be there. Adequate preparation had already taken away about 50% of my nerves to the point that when I realized there were five extra people in the room than what I had envisioned, I didn't freak out. I was actually glad for the opportunity to play in front of more people. And play I did. I didn't take my self too seriously and had fun. Yes, Nancy, acting is fun!

And then I got a callback.

Wow!

Then I took a page out of my amazing friend's handbook. I went to my resume and added the credit to the list. I was letting the universe know that I believed it could happen.

Guess what? I got the part.

I laughed uncontrollably for about two minutes when I received the news.

Nancy Kenny will be appearing in Rabbit Hole this October at the new Gladstone Theatre (Get your tickets now!)

**********************************

On Monday morning, I went and took the crazy to a whole other level. I walked into work and I gave them my notice. After about four years of floundering about in full-time jobs, I realized that if I wanted to truly be a professional actor, I had to either shit or get off the pot. Well, gosh darnit, it's time to shit!

To tell you the truth, no decision has ever felt so right before.  It was time.

I'll be at my current job until September 12, and then rehearsals start for Rabbit Hole. My contract is for six weeks until October 25th.

After that point, who knows, but I believe (and it's about damn time I did) that I can be an actor and still manage to take care of myself.

Besides, if ever I'm royally fucked, I'll just move in to my film director's basement and take his DVD collection hostage. Because I am a professional actor and he created a monster.