The last time I had a major change in my life was almost two years ago when I left full-time employment for the life of an artist. (You can read more on that here) This past week, I finally took the plunge: rented out my condo, packed up my stuff, relocated my cat and headed out to the Big Smoke. And you know what? It was fucking hard. As much as I wish I could be noble and say how much I enjoy riding the wave of uncertainty (and don't get me wrong, a part of me does), I hate change. With all the insecurity that comes with this chosen profession, I liked knowing that certain things were mine and I could come home to them. Now, I don't have any of that. Heck, I don't even have the certainty of living out of my suitcase either because it broke on me.
Since I own a one-bedroom condo and was leaving it furnished and equipped for the person coming in, I thought packing would be a breeze and didn't ask for any help. This was a big mistake. I was already incredibly emotional about the whole process and it turns out I've got way more stuff than I thought I did. I mean, let's be honest. I didn't ask for help, or turned some of it down because moving is an absolute pain in the ass. How many times have you had a friend ask you to help them move and you conveniently found yourself busy that day? I know I have. But when I found myself up to my ears in boxes, crying over spilt cat food, all I really wanted was a friend with a clearer head to help me through this.
Then there was the issue with Winston. By moving day, I still hadn't found a suitable, temporary abode for him. Fortunately, I was saved at the 11th hour, but you can probably imagine the kind of stress I was under.
Until the end of November, at least, I'm going to be a vagabond of no real fixed address. Though I'm hoping that most of that time will be spent in Toronto, who really knows? After one week down there, I now find myself back in Ottawa for the next two... every time I think I'm out, someone pulls me back in.
Do I sound bitter? Because I'm not. I'm very lucky. I've got great friends with comfortable beds for me to sleep in, Winston seems to be adjusting well to his new surroundings and I enjoy reading up on his adventures, I've managed to technically finish a first draft of my Roller Derby script, I've got agents working for me, and I've got new headshots thanks to the fabulous Andrew Alexander.
Would you like to help me out in the support of my dreams? I'm not going to be afraid to ask anymore. Money is, of course, the biggest obstacle. Every little bit helps these days. I like eating, so if someone would like to take me out for a meal, I wouldn't say no. I can promise interesting conversation and insight into a crazy business.
I am also looking for sponsors/donors to help me finish my Roller Derby piece. I'll be writing a longer blog post about that very soon, but if you are interested please send me an email to nancyjkenny at yahoo dot com for more details.