Where Do We Go From Here?

More than halfway through the Atlantic Fringe. Can you believe it? I've already given 5 performances of Roller Derby Saved My Soul with 4 more to come. I'm incredibly excited for tonight's performance since the Halifax Roller Derby Association will be in the audience. Things have been going well. The reviews are great and everywhere I go, everyone I've flyered seems to be buzzing about the show. I've seen about a dozen shows so far (though this post title might be misleading since I've yet to see Once More With Feeling - aka the Buffy Musical - at the festival), I've made some awesome new friends and every night I get to sleep in my own private room. Yeah, things are pretty grand. Check out this great little interview I did for the Fringe's Late Night Talk Show: But I've also started hitting a wall. Three months on the road is starting to take its toll. I'm tired more often than before, I'm fighting off some kind of cold, and I find myself homesick for... well, I'm not quite sure what. And to top it all off, the 2013 Fringe season isn't even over yet and already applications for next year are hitting the interwebs. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of cities I'd like to hit up with Roller Derby Saved My Soul (Toronto, Winnipeg, Calgary, maybe a return to Montreal?), but I don't know why I'm doing it anymore. Yes, I love this show and the Fringe, but I'm feeling mighty burnt out. Organizing a tour is A LOT of work and, if it weren't for my day job, I'm not sure how I'd be able to afford it at all. My friend Andrew Wade posted a very candid look at his tour numbers for the past summer. Though I don't know my final numbers yet and I do know quite a few people who achieve great success on the Fringe, I'd say Andrew's numbers are what the average performer/producer can expect. So, is this what I would want for myself again next year? Like I said, I'm Fringe Burnt, but I'm also having a lot of trouble sleeping as my mind races with plenty of questions. I feel adrift without specific goals to cling to. Thoughts of "What now?" and "What's next?" but what it really boils down to is "What do I want?" And for the first time in a long time, I don't have an answer to that question.